Revise a presentation script into formal American English: pronouns, shifts, vague references and word choice

Learning goal: This lesson teaches Ohio's 2026 standards L.6.1 and L.6.6, first implemented in 2027-28. You will know and apply formal American English grammar, usage and mechanics when writing or speaking: ensuring pronouns are in the proper case (subjective, objective, possessive); using intensive pronouns (such as myself, ourselves); recognizing and correcting inappropriate shifts in pronoun number and person; recognizing and correcting vague pronouns (pronouns with unclear or ambiguous antecedents); and recognizing variations from formal American English, determining whether they are appropriate for the intended purpose and audience, and adjusting as necessary, for example by removing slang from a formal presentation. You will also use grade-appropriate conversational, general academic and domain-specific words and phrases acquired through reading, writing, listening and speaking.

Formal American English is one variety among several. Everyone speaks in more than one way. The way you talk with friends, the way your family talks at home and the way a news anchor speaks are all real, rule-governed ways of using English. Formal American English is the variety expected in school reports, presentations, job interviews and published writing. Learning it adds a choice; it does not mean your other ways of speaking are wrong. The skill is to recognize which variety fits the purpose and audience, and to adjust.

Pronoun case. A pronoun's case shows its job in the sentence. Subjective case (I, we, he, she, they, who) is used for the subject: She and I presented. Objective case (me, us, him, her, them, whom) is used for objects of verbs and prepositions: The guide showed Priya and me the filters. Possessive case (my, mine, our, ours, his, her, hers, their, theirs, its) shows ownership: The class shared its notes. With a compound, cover the other person: The guide showed ... me the filters sounds right; showed ... I does not.

Intensive pronouns. An intensive pronoun ends in -self or -selves and adds emphasis to a noun or pronoun already in the sentence: The engineer herself answered our questions. Remove it and the sentence still works: The engineer answered our questions. A common error is using myself where I or me belongs: Jordan and myself presented should be Jordan and I presented.

Shifts in pronoun number and person. Number means singular or plural; person means first (I, we), second (you) or third (he, she, it, they). A sentence or paragraph should not switch without a reason. When a visitor enters the plant, you must wear goggles shifts from third person (a visitor) to second (you). Revision: When visitors enter the plant, they must wear goggles. The tank holds the water until they settle shifts from singular water to plural they; the writer meant the particles: until the particles settle.

Vague pronouns. A third-person pronoun that stands for a noun (he, she, it, they) needs a clear antecedent, the noun it replaces. (I, we and you name the speaker and listener, and the it in It is raining stands for no noun, so they need none.) The guide told Mr. Ruiz that he could ask questions is ambiguous: who is he? They say the water is completely safe has no antecedent at all: who are they? Revise by naming the noun: The guide told Mr. Ruiz that Mr. Ruiz could ask questions is clear but clumsy, so recast it: The guide said that Mr. Ruiz could ask questions; The guide told us that the water is safe to drink. Name only the source you actually heard; do not add a fact you do not have.

Three kinds of words. Conversational words are everyday words used in talk: stuff, a bunch, check out, pretty big. General academic words appear across many subjects: process, analyze, significant, sequence, remove. Domain-specific words belong to one field; in water treatment they include sediment (bits of dirt and other solid material in water), filtration (passing water through layers that trap particles), disinfection (killing germs, often with chlorine), and reservoir (a large area where water is stored). You acquire these words by reading (a plant's brochure), listening (a guide's talk), writing (your own notes) and speaking (asking questions and presenting). Using them well means choosing the right kind for the moment: conversational words for a friend, academic and domain-specific words for a presentation.

The misconception. Some students think formal English means using the longest words possible. Formal English means accurate grammar and precise, appropriate words. The water goes through filters is formal and clear. The aqueous substance undergoes a filtration experience is wordy and less clear.

Original draft presentation script (with errors, for revision)

(1) Me and Jordan went on the class trip to the city water treatment plant, and it was lowkey the best trip ever. (2) The guide showed Priya and I the big tanks where the water sits. (3) When a visitor goes near the tanks, you have to wear goggles. (4) The water stays in the tank until they sink to the bottom. (5) The guide told Mr. Ruiz that he could ask questions. (6) They say the water is super safe. (7) Jordan and myself took a bunch of notes about the stuff they do to clean the water. (8) The engineer answered every question.

The same script, revised for a formal class presentation

(1) Jordan and I went on the class trip to the city water treatment plant, and it was one of the most interesting trips of the year. (2) The guide showed Priya and me the large tanks where sediment settles out of the water. (3) When visitors go near the tanks, they must wear goggles. (4) The water stays in the tank until the particles sink to the bottom. (5) The guide said that Mr. Ruiz could ask questions. (6) The guide told us that the water is safe to drink. (7) Jordan and I took detailed notes on each step of the treatment process. (8) The engineer herself answered every question.

Worked example 1 — case (sentences 1, 2 and 7). Me and Jordan went uses objective me as a subject; cover Jordan: Me went is wrong, I went is right, so Jordan and I went. Showed Priya and I uses subjective I as an object; cover Priya: showed I is wrong, so showed Priya and me. Jordan and myself took misuses a -self pronoun as a subject; the subject needs I.

Worked example 2 — an intensive pronoun used correctly (sentence 8). The engineer herself answered every question emphasizes that the expert, not an assistant, answered. Remove herself and the sentence is still complete, which is the test for an intensive pronoun.

Worked example 3 — shifts (sentences 3 and 4). Sentence 3 shifts person from a visitor (third) to you (second); making both third person plural fixes it: visitors ... they. Sentence 4 shifts number: they has no plural noun to refer to because water is singular. Naming the real antecedent, the particles, fixes both the shift and the vagueness.

Worked example 4 — vague pronouns (sentences 5 and 6). In sentence 5, he could mean the guide or Mr. Ruiz; the writer meant Mr. Ruiz, so the revision names him and drops the pronoun: The guide said that Mr. Ruiz could ask questions. In sentence 6, they has no antecedent, and the claim super safe is both vague and informal; the writer's trip notes show it was the guide who said the water is safe to drink, so the revision names that source, replaces super safe with the guide's plainer words, and adds no fact the class did not hear.

Worked example 5 — variations from formal American English. Lowkey, super and a bunch of stuff are common in conversation with friends, and they are appropriate there. For a formal presentation to a class and teacher, they are replaced: lowkey the best trip ever becomes one of the most interesting trips of the year; a bunch of notes about the stuff they do becomes detailed notes on each step of the treatment process. The ideas stay; the register changes.

Worked example 6 — choosing words by kind. Conversational: the stuff they do to clean the water. General academic: the treatment process and each step. Domain-specific: sediment settles, filtration, disinfection. In the presentation, the domain-specific words should be defined the first time: Next, filtration, passing the water through layers of sand and gravel, traps smaller particles.

Error hunt (representation task): Copy the draft script and label every error with one code: C (case), I (intensive or reflexive misuse), S (shift in number or person), V (vague pronoun) or F (informal word or slang for this audience). Draw an arrow from each pronoun to its antecedent; if there is none, write "none." Then compare with the revised script and explain one change in each category.

Word sort: Sort these words and phrases into conversational, general academic and domain-specific: stuff, process, sediment, a bunch, analyze, filtration, check out, significant, reservoir, disinfection, pretty big, sequence. For each domain-specific word, write a definition you learned by reading or listening in this lesson.

Independent performance: Record yourself explaining a process you know well (making a sandwich, a video game level, a sports drill) to a friend for one minute, in conversational language. Then write and deliver a one-minute formal version for a class presentation. Success criteria: (1) every pronoun in the formal version is in the correct case, and every third-person pronoun that stands for a noun has a clear antecedent; (2) at least one intensive pronoun is used correctly; (3) no inappropriate shifts in number or person; (4) slang and conversational words that do not suit the formal audience are replaced, and you list three replacements you made and why; (5) at least three general academic and three domain-specific words are used accurately, with one domain-specific word defined; (6) a written reflection of two sentences explains when the conversational version would be the better choice.